Something you Don't Know
by CocaineFilledKisses
Summary: Ichigo ruins his relationship with Renji because of being so... closed. RenjiXIchii. Sorry, I got my other story confused with this one. Yaoi. Songfic.


_**Something You Don't Know.**_

IchigoXRenji

_"He wears his heart saftey pinned to his backpack,_

_His backpack is all that he knows."_

Kurosaki Ichigo was a very secretive person. He kept everything to himself. His friends, his sisters, his father, even his lover didn't know what was bothering him half the time. He never wanted to bother anyone with his problems. It was always like that. Ever since he could remember he was secretive. He never thought twice about it.

_"Shot down by strangers whose glances can cripple,_

_The heart and devour the soul."_

He knew people talked about him behind his back. It was nothing new. People ridiculed him about the color of his hair, the way he acted, and what the hell was wrong with him. Nothing was wrong with him. Everyone just thought so. They didn't know what the hell they were talking about. Ever since his mother died trying to protect him, Ichigo clammed up when it came to talking about what was wrong with him. Especially when it came to the anneversary of his mother's death. He didn't talk, he didn't sleep... He didn't do anything.

_"All alone he turns to stone_

_While holding his breath half to death."_

He usually took his dinner to his room, ate in silence, and pushed Renji away. All the red head wanted to do was help him. Renji loved the orange haired boy. One dark night, Ichigo sat at his desk, eating the dinner Yuzu had made, when Renji knocked at the window. Ichigo ignored it, and kept eating, not feeling too particualarly hungry. He picked at the food, waiting for Renji to knock again. Ichigo wanted to tell Renji what was bothering him... He really did.

_"Terrified of what's inside,_

_To save his life,_

_He crawls like a worm from a bird."  
_He just couldn't. When the next knock came, Ichigo turned his back to Renji, who opened the window anyway. The red head took off his sunglasses, and set them on the table next to Ichigo's barely eaten dinner.

"Ichii, what tha hell?! I was out there knockin'! Why didn't ya let me in?"

"Go away, Renji."  
"Ichigo, what tha hell is wrong with ya? Ye've been misreable this past week. What's tha matter?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."  
"Ya always say that. I can see right through ya, ya dumbfuck. Spill."  
"I said, I'm fine. Now leave, dozo Renji."  
"Why won't you ever tell me? I wanna help ya."

"I don't need yer help. Nothing's wrong with me!"  
"Then why don't ya act like it?!"

"RENJI! LEAVE GODDAMNIT!"

"WHY?! I LOVE YA! I JUST WANNA BE WITH YA! CAN'T I?"  
"NOT NOW!"

_"(ALL ALONE)_

_(Crawls like a worm from a bird.)_

_Whispers of... (Just keep working... just keep working... I'm terrified.)"_

Renji stopped and looked at Ichigo. Didn't he want him anymore? What was the matter with him? Renji cleared his throat, turning his head from Ichigo.

"Fine. I guess ya dun need me then."

The red head didn't even bother to pick up his sunglasses. He left them by Ichigo's plate. Renji crouched at the window, and looked back. Ichigo's back was still to him, and the red head jumped out, with thoughts in his mind. The orange haired boy sighed and rubbed his face. Tears gathered in his eyes, as he realized what just happened. Why did he do that? He didn't know. It was natural for him to shut everyone out. At least he still had Orihime, Ishida, Chad, and the group. He hoped.

_"Out of his mind away,_

_Pushes him whispering,_

_'Musta been out of his mind.'"_

He knew he still had them. Ichigo took his hands from his face, dressed for bed, and hoped that Renji would be there when he woke up. The man climbed into his bed, ignoring Kon and his ranting. His eyes soon became heavy, and he wished Renji was beside him. Maybe the red head would forget about it by the time tomorrow came. He doubted it.

_"Mid-day dillusions of pushing this_

_Out of his head,_

_Make him out of his mind."_

When the boy woke up, to his dismay, Renji wasn't there. He hadn't forgotten.

"Nii-Sama! Breakfast is ready!"

"I'm not hungry, Yuzu. Arigato."

She just shook her head as she left his room. He lied there with his hands behind his head, avoiding his father's usual attacks. He got up, dressed, and went outside. He tried to enjoy the weather of the summer, but it was hard to do, since he knew Renji was gone. He wasn't coming back.

_"All alone he turns to stone, _

_While holding his breath half to death."_

He walked to the river where his mother was killed, and sat with his back against a tree.

"Ichigo..."  
He looked back and saw Rukia. He tried not to look sad, or troubled. He didn't want to lose her as a friend.

"Hello Rukia."

"Where's Renji?"  
"I dunno."

"Did you two fight?"  
"Eai. We broke up."

She was shocked at the news. Her mouth fell open as she looked at the orange haired boy.

"And you're... not... sad?"  
"Well, of course I am."  
"You don't show it."  
"I try not to."

"Are you alright?"  
"Hai. Fine."

Rukia sat beside him, just for the sake of giving him some company. He did nothing for hours, and Rukia left soon, leaving Ichigo to his thoughts. Nothing was right anymore. Not without Renji. He couldn't even walk straight.

_"Terrified of what's inside,_

_To save his life,_

_He crawls like a worm...  
(Crawls like a worm!)"_

As weeks passed, his longing for Renji grew, and so did his problems. His friends became more and more distant from him, and the anneversary of his mother's death was long past. He didn't know what to do. He ate all of his dinner at nights to keep Yuzu happy and un-knowing of his problems, and his father kept delevering his "attacks". The night came, and she slipped into Shinigami, walking the streets, with Zangestu over his shoulders. He kept Renji's long forgotten sunglasses in his pocket at all times, so he would never forget what he did to him that night. How much he hurt Renji. He wasn't himself anymore. The things he once enjoyed seemed dull and boring, and the foods he used to eat, seemed dry and tasteless. Ichigo wanted Renji back. He needed him now, more than ever.

_"Crawls like a worm from a bird. _

_(ALL ALONE!)  
(ALL ALONE!)  
(ALL ALONE!)"_

He dropped to his knees in the middle of a street, waiting for something to came and take him. He waited until the cry of a hollow came. He could hear it nearing. He didn't care. Zangestu remained sheathed, and on his shoulders. Ichigo felt it's ground-shaking footsteps come closer. It was weak, but Ichigo didn't care. Frankly, if Renji wasn't with him, he didn't have anything to look foreward to anymore. Nothing mattered.

_"All he knows,_

_If he can't releive it, it grows._

_And so it goes..._

_He crawls like a worm from a bird."_

He kept his head down until the Hollow was right in front of him.

"Dozo, I beg you..." He whispered. "Take me."

As the hollow reached for the Shinigami, Ichigo kept his head down, waiting for a hand to wrap around him. None came. The only thing that came was a yell and the scream of a hollow. The orange haired boy looked up with his brown eyes and saw Renji, with Zabimaru in full veiw. He smiled, and watched as Renji jumped, and drove his Zanpoktou into it's skull. He landed with a soft thud next to Ichigo.

"Renji... You-"

"Hai. I came back."

"But... Why?"  
"I love ya. I dun want ya dead."

Renji crouched next to the boy, who fell into his chest, crying.

_"(Crawls like a worm from a bird)_

_Out of his mind away,_

_Pushes him whispering,_

_'Musta been out of his mind.'"_

"Ichii... Don't cry. Yer too tough fer that crap. Cut it out."

Renji took Ichigo's head from his chest, and whipped away the tears.

"Now. Tell me what's wrong. And don't tell me yer fine. Ya look like shit, and ya just tried to kill yerself."

Ichigo told him everything. It just spilled out. Ichigo couldn't control it, but, he knew that Renji loved him, and he would listen. He was right. The red head looked at him, listening to Ichigo pour his heat out for the first time. For the first time in years, someone knew everything about Ichigo. He knew everything that was bothering him, and he always would.

_"All alone he turns to stone_

_While holding his breath half to death._

_Terrified of what's inside,_

_To save his life,_

_He crawls like a worm from a bird."_

Song: Bird and the Worm

Artist: The Used

[A/N: I got the inspriation for this one from another fanfiction I read a week ago. I can't remember the title, but I know you, the reader does. So, I hope you all read that fanfiction after because this one sucks. :) Rock on.


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